To whittle, or not to whittle

Today was an especially rough day for me. Bogged down by the pressure and stress of running three different campus organizations, following through with various promises I had made to friends and colleagues, and merely making it through another night jam packed with academia, there is no denying the fact that as of right now, I am a little bit frazzled.

That’s why when I finally got the chance to sit down and crack open Walden, I was especially interested in the material that Thoreau covered in “Where I Lived, and What I Lived For.”

Upon moving into his new home, Thoreau reflects on his new life free from time (the slaver driver) and social responsibility. The experience seemed to be an undeniably positive one for the thinker and immediately in my fragile state I found the concepts surrounding this revision to be incredibly attractive.

The appeal got me thinking; is this a world I could see myself surviving in? Would this be a way of life that I would enjoy?

While at this very moment nothing seems more attractive than a life without responsibility, commitment to others, or professional expectations, I can’t see myself lasting more than a few days in this assumed environment. Why, you ask? Well, if one sits down and truly analyzes the commitments they have made, no matter how stressful, the truth behind that matter is that you made them. This could be because you enjoy them or maybe just because you see them as steps that will help you reach an ultimate goal, but either way, you made them. In my own circumstance, nothing makes me happier then setting my mind to do something and succeeding. I crave authority, the thrill of guiding others, the addicting feeling that overcomes my body when I address a large group of people or see my efforts and energy directly and positively effect another person.

Though I respect Thoreau’s lifestyle choice, and the principals behind it, I am simply not the type of person who would be satisfied with a life of lounging and primeval simplicity.

While I never really saw myself as someone who was especially enthusiastic about technology (shocking for a Carnegie Mellon student to admit, I know), I am extremely excited by the notion of progress, and progress and technology, more often than not in this day and age, tend to go hand in hand. Simplicity and the idea of being content with something ‘just the way it is,’ upsets me. That’s not to say I don’t get it. Thoreau’s world is attractive to him because it is worry free, relaxing, and peaceful. There is no denying that we could all use a little less anxiety and a bit more sleep in our lives. But I live in New York City. If I heard gunshots, I wouldn’t run to hide under my bed; I’d rush to the window to watch the excitement. If four hundred trains suddenly derailed and slammed into one another, I probably wouldn’t wake up. If I end up paying nineteen dollars for a sandwich and water, I’m wouldn’t be very surprised. That’s just how I was raised.

I get bored easily. I crave excitement. I am accustom to a cutthroat lifestyle, but more importantly, I have been raised to know not only how to survive, but to kick some ass while in the competition.

So for now, instead of wandering into the woods and ditching my blackberry for hobby in whittling, I’ll just push myself through the rough times and rejoice in the triumphs of my efforts.

Cheers,

Meela