To a Pupil

To a Pupil

  Is reform needed? is it through you?
  The greater the reform needed, the greater the Personality you need
      to accomplish it.

  You! do you not see how it would serve to have eyes, blood,
      complexion, clean and sweet?
  Do you not see how it would serve to have such a body and soul that
      when you enter the crowd an atmosphere of desire and command
      enters with you, and every one is impress'd with your Personality?

  O the magnet! the flesh over and over!
  Go, dear friend, if need be give up all else, and commence to-day to
      inure yourself to pluck, reality, self-esteem, definiteness,
      elevatedness,
  Rest not till you rivet and publish yourself of your own Personality.

My response to this poem may not be your conventional one it may not fit in a box and be perfect and seamless but this carnival I have learned a lot and the only thing that is seamless now a days are bullets. It was not a good carnival, it actually sucked. I had been on a downward spiral this year feeling like the joyous soul I once had am lost. A semester of proving myself over and over again the anger one feels when you can never win when there is no right answer and all the ones that make sense to me make no sense to anyone else. Some how I convinced myself that things would change that though time had passed it would work out and I would feel whole again but for some reason this whole semester has felt dark and gloomy filled with anger and angst never smile and it may be the weather and it may be the semester of lack of fulfillment but at the end of the day it was a bad year. I turned over a new leaf yesterday his true colors were revealed and though that doesn’t change how low I feel about myself currently it made me realize that no one deserves that kind of treatment even I don’t deserve that.

            What I mean to say is ones personality, ones spirit, ones soul it fades it shirks and grows depending on what is going on, what makes an effect on your life it is this horrible circle. I hate it there is no way to get out of the rut. When you feel like crap and your life is crap then there is just no way to get out of it, except to ride it out.

            SO you ride it out, till you own your personality till you get back that you are and regain the life you once had. Till you remember why you wake up each morning and why you want to continue on each day. It’s a struggle we all face and I won this time.